


Don’t Make Me Feel At Home

by Zaorliel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Mild pre-existing injury mention, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:53:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25098730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zaorliel/pseuds/Zaorliel
Summary: Prompt: Jared and Misha comforting Jensen after one long day that hasn’t gone according to plan.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Don’t Make Me Feel At Home

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my friend, Ebba, for the prompt and encouragement I needed in order to write this. This is so many firsts for me. Not sure if it’s what you had in mind but I hope you enjoy!!

With his hands in his pockets, Jensen glared at the cozy side of his front door. As much as he appreciated his best friend’s concern, he was very much not in the mood for company. Perhaps, he thought, if he scowled at the block of wood for long enough the people on the other side of it would eventually leave. He didn’t have to ask to know exactly who was here, and that was the problem.

These guys had been Jensen’s friends for other ten years now and if there was anything in the world he could be sure of, it was that Jared and Misha did not give up.. on anything!

The pair of unwelcome visitors relentlessly hammered on the door. Jensen knew there was more chance that the door would cave in or an angry neighbour would call the police, than for his buddies to go away. The noise outside continued and grew so irritating that Jensen couldn’t stand it any longer. He threw aside his nerves and finally grabbed the cold metal handle.

“Alright! Goddamn it. Nobody sent for the cavalry!”

His visitors waved, obnoxiously pleased with themselves, when they saw Jen. He had only opened the door wide enough to stick his head through the gap.

“Actually, you did, jackass.” Jared quipped. “When you stormed off this morning after shooting one scene. What the hell got into you?”

Jensen rolled his eyes.

“You told Phil you had an emergency? Wouldn’t let Zabrina take off your war paint. Then you drove yourself back here. So? Where’s the fire?” Misha elaborated on Jared’s point.

Hoping his friends would drop the whole thing and leave if he played stubborn enough, Jensen shot a pleading look to the friendly giant standing directly in front of him. On the contrary, Jared blinked and waited for a real answer. So Jensen looked over to Misha. His eyes wondered over Misha’s face, then to his black tshirt and stopped with his gaze fixed to the right side of his mid-section. A cold wave turned Jensen’s stomach. The taste of stale beer and self pity was rich on his tongue as he licked his lips. Catching himself staring, he quickly looked away from them both. He couldn’t deal with this right now. Jensen turned his back to the visitors outside his apartment and slammed the door.

It was petty behaviour. Deep down, he knew they were here to talk and not fight. Maybe, fifteen years ago, Jensen would have loved to talk about his feelings with the guys over some iced tea and cinnamon buns, but that wasn’t them anymore. Each was a father now. They had grown up. He and Jared spent most of their lives more than two thousand miles from where they called home. And with every passing year that Jensen spent portraying Dean Winchester, he watched himself loose certain traits of his own personality and turn more like a caricature of somebody else. Talking to Jared and Misha, who he had no doubt must know the feeling themselves, might be nice temporarily but was not going to fix a damn thing.

The continued thumping on his front door begged to differ. Talking would fix one thing. _That_.

Taking a deep breath, Jen pulled the door open wide. He didn’t look at either of them, just awkwardly moved out of the way so that they could let themselves in and shut the door behind.

Jensen still couldn’t look either of them in the eye, so he disappeared to the kitchen for something to occupy himself. “Does it hurt?”

“Which one of us is he flirting with?” Misha asked Jared, baffled as they watched Jensen leave the room.

“You, man. You play the gay angel, not me.” Jared teased. He then took a seat on the relatively small sofa in the middle of the room.

“Hey! Y-”

“Does it?” The voice from the kitchen wall asked again more persistently.

They didn’t know how to respond. Nothing came to mind with what he could be referring to. Misha decided to sit too, on the arm of the sofa nearest the kitchen. He shrugged.

In Jensen’s absence, the pair took a moment to scope the state of the room. The whole apartment looked like a bomb site. Nothing had been tidied in weeks. Questionable semi-clean clothes were in a pile on another chair. A fleece blanket sprawled on the floor, Jared lifted it to find several empty beer bottles poking out from underneath.

Jensen returned to the living room with yet another bottle in his hands. Now he was glaring straight at Misha. Jared looked up at Jen and then over to Mish. They seemed to be having some silent conversation that Jared wasn’t privy too.

After a couple of seconds, Misha buckled under the pressure of both his friends staring at him. “No.” Was all he answered.

Standing up briefly, Jared reached over and snatched the bottle out of Jensen’s hands, just as he was about to take a swig. “Does what hurt?!” He was beyond frustrated at not understanding them and scowled at Jensen still standing in the kitchen doorway, who only grunted in annoyance; so Jared shifted his attention back to Misha.

Misha crossed his arms in front of his chest and avoided eye contact with them both. The problem they all had was they were too stubborn for their own good.

Misha sighed, “It’s kinda red but it feels fine. I tried to tell you earlier-“

“I’m supposed to catch you..” Shame and guilt clung to Jensen’s words.

Jared was tired of these two being vague. He impulsively reached over to Misha and tugged on the corner of his shirt, knocking Misha’s arms out the way with ease, he pulled up the cloth on the side that Jensen’s eyes kept flickering subconsciously to. On the side of Misha’s right rib was a large oval mark. Red and blue and slightly raised from the rest of his skin. Jared bent down so his head was eye-level with the bruise to get a closer inspection. He looked up into the injured man’s eyes as he deliberately prodded the marked flesh. Misha flinched a little but not enough for Jared to conclude the injury as serious.

Jared poked him a couple more times and eventually Misha couldn’t help but giggle. He pushed Jared’s head away and the pair giggled again. Jensen almost wanted to join in but right now he was too busy feeling sorry, to Misha and for himself.

“You weren’t ready,” Misha smiled up and Jensen when Jared had finally sat still. “I misjudged the distance. That’s why _professional_ actors have stunt doubles!” Of course, Misha being Misha had to find humour to lighten every mood. “It happens. I’m fine.” He shrugged again.

“Don’t baby me, Misha! I was reckless. You know that’s like not me. I’m so sorry!” There was a strain to his voice that Jensen’s friends picked up on. He was sorry but he also was keeping something to himself.

Half truths and code words were some of Jared’s pet peeves. He hated mind games. Honesty was always the best policy for him. “You’re not sad about this. So a stunt went wrong. I broke my arm once, remember? Misha’s fine.”

“I am.” Misha nodded.

“See? So I don’t buy it. There’s something else. You gonna be Dean or you gonna talk?”

“Oi! What’s wrong with Dean?!” Jensen was immediately defensive.

“Come on dude, what’s right with him? The man’s got serious issues. All our characters do. We love him but we like Jensen better!”

“My wife likes Dean.” Jensen pouted. He looked offended but his friends knew him better than that.

Misha patted Jens’s arm in an almost patronising manner. “That’s because Dean is sexier than you will ever be.”

That made Jared toss his head back in one hearty laugh. Jensen kept up his frown.

“But he hasn’t got half as much going on up there!” Misha finish by pointing to his own forehead.

“Fine.” Jensen had a little smile now. He sighed and sat down between his friends. “Maybe I’m not mopping ‘cause of one accident, ‘kay? That shit’s just the last of a long line of wrongs!”

Jared offered a more genuine sympathetic smile and tapped Jen’s shoulder. There wasn’t really room for the three of them to sit comfortably so Jared moved to the floor, keeping directly in front of Jensen. His long body and legs were happier on the floor, utilising all the space he could reach to lounge. The sofa creaked as Misha made use of his new space too, shifting beside Jensen and proceeding to lean in closer.

Coyness wasn’t one of Jensen’s talents. Whatever he thought he was pulling off, it was obvious that he didn’t protest when he felt two firm hands on the back of his shoulders. Instead, he subtly invited Misha’s touch by leaning forward and rested his elbows on his knees. His focus stayed on Jared siting in front of him. He’d practically grown up with these guys and still he found it impossible keep a straight face every time the big clumsy moose transformed into a little puppy right before his eyes, with only a simple furrow of eyebrows.

A sweet dimpled smile played on Jen’s face - for whole a moment that Jared definitely noticed - before he caught himself and fixed his expression back to a serious one. He wasn’t going to give in to a chick flick moment just yet. Immediately after, Jensen glared at Misha as two thumbs pushed deep circles into his shoulders.

Both of Jensen’s best friends had recently enrolled in classes to break up the monotony in their work-life balance.

Jared had taken up cookery lessons. Besides the fact that his new recipes were predominantly plant-based meals, Jensen often congratulated him on having his new skills and said they were the highlight of life in Vancouver.

Around the same time, Misha had enrolled on a massage therapy class. Thus far, he didn’t have a license to practice but from the beginning that never stopped J2 from being his willing guinea pigs. And boy did Mish know a few tricks! His skills made his friends marvel just as much as Jared's. The major difference being, if there was ever a time (such as right now in his own apartment) that Jensen thought J’s cooking could have some fair competition for “ _most appreciated talent_ ”, he was definitely never going to admit it or give Misha that credit. Hopefully Misha would just read his mind?!

“Give it up, Ackles.” Jared attempted to hide a laugh at the strained look of anger on Jensen’s face. “You’re glad we’re here. You _looooove_ us babying you. We’re not leaving until you talk to us. What’s really on your mind?”

Jensen remained silent. He rolled his shoulders and let out a small satisfied moan. Misha pushed his fingertips deeper into the muscles at the base of Jensen’s neck. Jared giggled, watching the two engage in what could easily be mistaken by outsiders as a married couple’s domestic evening routine. Trusting the knowledge that his apartment was a safe space and Jared truly never judged his friends for anything, Jensen allowed himself to shut his eyes and let Misha take away the stress from his muscles. Part of Jensen felt it should be _him_ pampering _Misha_ to make up for his carelessness that caused injury not 24 hours earlier, the other part of his mind considered asking J for a lullaby but he was sure that would be pushing his limits too far.

It reminded him of one of his favourite parts in his career. The end of a long day.

Sometimes he’d be with Jared in the studios for 14 hours. Fighting and crying and driving and sweating under the bright white lights. It could be 1am before he’d finally get to relax in the makeup trailer and have some nice girl fussing over his face. That was the moment of those busy and strenuous days when he had to do nothing but unwind. If he was lucky, usually Ruth or Osric or one of the many other guest stars that didn’t have as many scenes to cover, would be there too getting their make up and hair fixed and talking about their week.

Jensen always used to enjoy that part: sitting back, making jokes and eating candy. It was in recent years that things had changed. Life went by faster now. There never seemed enough time to learn lines and video call family and get enough sleep all in the same day. Little moments of peace and pleasure just didn’t exist anymore.

A common saying among the trio was ‘ _everyone has bad days, but full time actors have bad weeks because they aren’t allowed any._ ’ Jensen sort of knew in himself that was all this was. A bad week, in a bad month. There had been plenty of long hours. They were coming up to the end of their current season and they were all itching for a break. They were tired. Jared was the biggest empath Jensen had ever met, they fed off of each other’s vibes and moods and in the rare occasion that Jensen prayed, he always included Misha’s energy and confidence as a blessing the team had come to rely on to get them through a last stretch. Jen found a little comfort in knowing he didn’t have to give verbal compliments often. Jared and Misha already felt what was in his head.

In the midst of Jensen’s blissful silence, a realisation dawned on Jared. He hadn’t considered it before but now he couldn’t remember the last time Danneel and the Ackles kids came up to visit. Not that Jared was worried about the couple’s relationship, he’d heard them laughing on the phone the other day, but it puzzled him. No wonder Jensen was so down in the dumps. He must miss his family. While everyone was running on low battery lately, there hadn’t been much time for socialising. Work needed to be done. There were endless pages of lines to learn and reactions to get perfected. Jared himself hadn’t held his wife in his arms in a little over a month now. He looked back up at Jensen.

The man smiled back but had seemed to have forgotten all about what Jared had asked him. He was supposed to tell his friends what had made him so miserable. Not just today, but long enough for his house to become so neglected. Instead, Jensen had managed to push all his previous attitude, his walking out from work early, his aloofness and binge drinking, pushed it all away for a typical Dean “ _I’m not bothered_ ” persona.

Jared decided to change tactics.

“Hey. Why don’t you go have a shower, yeah? We’ll tidy the place up a bit for you?” Jared said quietly with his usual softness.

“You don’t wanna do that.”

“I don’t think he meant a deep clean.” Misha brought his hands back to himself and chuckled. “I agree, we’ll just make some extra space, start a load of laundry? It’ll take the two of us ten minutes, tops.”

“No. Please don’t. I like it. I know where everything is -“

“Ackles! We’ve seen your house!” Jared laughed again, “Don’t pretend you live like this normally.”

“Normally I have Dee!”

There was a silence.

“If you tidy it’ll be like she’s here, but not! So leave it! Please!”

Jared nodded and Misha gave one his trademark understanding-head-tilts. Neither made a big deal out of it. But Jared had got what they’d come here for. Jensen sighed, finally getting that burden off his chest was a relief but he still didn’t show it. He just shrugged and agreed the shower was a good idea, then excused his and quietly left the room.

Did Jensen trust his friends? Impeccably. The magic Misha had worked on his muscles called for hot water as the final ingredient. Twenty minutes later he emerged from the bathroom with a clean pair of jeans, shirt and slightly damp hair. Jared and Misha were sitting in almost the same position as when he’d left them. Nothing had been moved or altered, as per his wishes. Nothing had been taken, but there were surprising additions to his already cluttered living room.

On top of the rarely used coffee table, opposite the tv, was a brand new array of culinary delights. A neatly prepared, vast, buffet of all J2M’s gourmet favourites. Gummy bears, chocolate peanut butter cups, sour rainbow belts, honey beef jerky, salty popcorn.

The others watched as Jensen’s eyes lit up at the sight. He licked his lips and brightly gave his first genuine smile in a week. He clapped once, sharp, to snap himself awake.

“What’s going on guys?” Self consciousness threatened to take over his emotions. Either this wasn’t real or it was prerequisite to bad news.

“You’re really gonna want to tidy this place up, Ackles.” Misha’s voice was stern.

“Yeah Ackles,” Jared sounded more like a bratty bully siding with the cool kid. Jensen preferred to believe this was all a skit so he played along, scrunching his nose up to Jared. “You’re really gonna want to tidy.” Jar echoed.

“I’ve told you I don’t. What’s with the candy?”

“Oh that?” Misha glanced down at the coffee table like there was absolutely nothing untoward. Even Jared gave nothing away.

“Yes, Misha! That.”

“It’s for when you celebrate.”

“Misha! Whatever you’re trying to tell me, spit it out! Jared?”

Jared clears his throat. “Dee’s coming over.”

Jensen was held his breath. “No, I’m going home soon. She’s -.”

“Yeah, huh, I just called her. She’ll be here Saturday. Coming up with Gen and Vicky. Your welcome.” Jared’s face was so cocky Jen thought he’d slap it if it was anyone else.

Jensen was too shocked to move or speak. He looked to Misha for contradiction. That was the first time he’d noticed Misha had been hiding one hand behind his back ever since he’d returned from the shower. He scratched his chin to occupy his nervous hands. He wanted to reach out and grab whatever the secret was. Not that it was necessary. Misha laughed and after minimal persuasion, passed the next surprise gift over to Jensen.

This was a completely one of a kind item Misha had procured for a different occasion. He admitted it was meant to be a birthday present for Jared (as it seemed fitting to deliver in the middle of hiatus) but they had agreed together that Jensen was in need of this item more.

Jen took the square plastic case and turned it over in his hands. It had a transparent lid and a blank CD inside.

“You… got me the ancient art of CD burning? Gee, thanks Mish.”

“Oh god, you have a player, right?!” Jared was suddenly scarred the big reveal would be ruined.

Jensen’s laugh was apprehensive but he was keen to find out was was on the disk. He pushed it into the extension at the side of his tv and turned it on. Confusion and intrigue were first to consumed him.

His mind was still racing at the concept of Danneel and his children coming to Vancouver in less than a week! Crap, he really would have to shape up. What needed to be done, would get done. He’d adopt a healthy sleeping pattern. He’d show up for work. He’d get his shit together and give those last few episodes everything he had in him. He’d make his family and fans proud!

He grabbed a handful of assorted candy and once again squeezed himself on the sofa between Jared and Misha. Jared stayed put this time and they all huddled in. Jar snatched up the remote and pressed play.

The title screen of the DVD was simply a date. White text on a black background. An inconspicuous month and day of 2004.

The next frame was boy they all hardly recognised. Some 22 year old with a beige Abercrombie Finch hoodie, long hair and white beanie hat.

“Oh god.” Jared was horrified already. He quickly tried to hide his face behind one hand but couldn’t help peeking at the screen between his fingers.

“What a skater boy!” Misha scoffed, stuffing a few more gummy bears into his mouth.

The three were transfixed to the movie.

On the screen, the adolescent fidgeted on a swivel chair as he aced the next 7 minutes of dialogue from Supernatural’s pilot episode.

At the end of the clip, all three seasoned actors on the sofa applauded, as if they were at the theatre. In a way they were.

Almost everyone featured in this little home movie was in the room at this very moment. The next ten minutes were of Jensen’s audition and the remainder of the DVD was a compilation of never-before-seen, not-for-public-release bloopers, behind the scenes footage, and commentaries from all thirteen seasons. Half of which J2 hadn’t realised had been captured. Apparently Misha had pulled a few strings and got their show runner, Andrew, to compile everything he had, just for the three of them.

Watching themselves on the screen reminded Jensen what his real job was.

Yes, he was an actor but what he and the two people closest to him had built over the years went far beyond fiction. Sharing a glimpse of their friendship with the world gave others hope and optimism. Strangers would approach him in the street and say he had given them strength or hope or confidence. It was funny to think about. Jared gave him strength. Misha gave freedom of expression. Jen realised he could often get used to only seeing himself as just a pretty face, privileged enough to know his better thirds so intimately, that in doing so he would forget how important he was himself.

Someone once was payed money to write a line in a show for a fictional character. This particular line had then gone and twisted and turned to build an entire family on its basis. Jensen had been lucky enough to deliver such a line. Six takes of him trying to get said line out without Jared making him laugh, played on the screen.

“Family doesn’t end in blood, but it doesn’t start there either.” Jensen heard himself say.

It was all true. Thanks to Jared and Misha, he’d see his flesh and blood family soon. But in the meantime he didn’t have to be homesick! There were other priorities. Other reasons to be strong. To clean up his act. To show up for the people that depended on him everyday.

For whatever reason previously, he had been scared to acknowledge something that was now undoubtedly clear.

This - what Jared and Misha had done for him tonight. From following him home to check on him, to giving him no pressure to talk but understanding nonetheless, to going through such great efforts to cheer his stubborn self-pitiful ass up, - this was everything he needed and more.

Misha and Jared were his family.

This was his home. 

**Author's Note:**

> [Disclaimer: This is purely fanfiction, it does not claim to be a depiction of real life and all characteristics and events should only be taken as fictional.]


End file.
